Written several months ago and afraid to post then:
It's Monday, it's only 8:30am and my plan for the day and week has completely changed. What seemed like one of the busiest days of my month has turned into 8 hours of nothingness. A lot of mental thought had gone into the planning of today and I was looking forward to the new opportunity. Now, it's completely open to do whatever I want. So what am I going to do? This wasn't what I had anticipated.
Sudden changes, unexpected surprises, have been sources of anxiety and stress for me in the past. As a result, I have run to food so many times in these moments as a source of control and comfort. In doing this, I would eat a few thousand calories within an hour and by mid-morning, emotionally, my day was over. I was spent. I would have felt like a complete failure, hated myself and life and would have wanted to crawl up into a hole and wait for tomorrow to come around to start over. Then, at some point in the self-loathing, I would have conjured some type of killer exercise plan or fasting period to undo what I had just done.
However, today, I am going to try something new. First, I am going to take a deep breath and acknowledge the situation and my feelings involved. I then said a prayer asking God to lead this day because He knew how it was going to end up anyhow. I asked that He would show me what to do with this time today and that it be a good, productive day, not one that ends up in the bondage of food. I surrendered it to Him and am going to walk forward in the power He gives me through the Holy Spirit.
Moving forward, I decided to try two new things that I haven't done in a while because the time demands of my sport didn't allow for it.
1. Write this blog
2. Go for a nice walk since the weather is gorgeous.
It's okay to struggle. It's ok to acknowledge it. It's okay to ask for help. It's ok to let people in. It's ok not to be okay all the time. Don't stay there and don't stay alone. Let people in- Let Jesus in, Let your spouse in, Let your close friends in.
It's Monday, it's only 8:30am and my plan for the day and week has completely changed. What seemed like one of the busiest days of my month has turned into 8 hours of nothingness. A lot of mental thought had gone into the planning of today and I was looking forward to the new opportunity. Now, it's completely open to do whatever I want. So what am I going to do? This wasn't what I had anticipated.
Sudden changes, unexpected surprises, have been sources of anxiety and stress for me in the past. As a result, I have run to food so many times in these moments as a source of control and comfort. In doing this, I would eat a few thousand calories within an hour and by mid-morning, emotionally, my day was over. I was spent. I would have felt like a complete failure, hated myself and life and would have wanted to crawl up into a hole and wait for tomorrow to come around to start over. Then, at some point in the self-loathing, I would have conjured some type of killer exercise plan or fasting period to undo what I had just done.
However, today, I am going to try something new. First, I am going to take a deep breath and acknowledge the situation and my feelings involved. I then said a prayer asking God to lead this day because He knew how it was going to end up anyhow. I asked that He would show me what to do with this time today and that it be a good, productive day, not one that ends up in the bondage of food. I surrendered it to Him and am going to walk forward in the power He gives me through the Holy Spirit.
Moving forward, I decided to try two new things that I haven't done in a while because the time demands of my sport didn't allow for it.
1. Write this blog
2. Go for a nice walk since the weather is gorgeous.
It's okay to struggle. It's ok to acknowledge it. It's okay to ask for help. It's ok to let people in. It's ok not to be okay all the time. Don't stay there and don't stay alone. Let people in- Let Jesus in, Let your spouse in, Let your close friends in.
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